trees and immediately began treeing on the lower edge of them. The two men stood and looked at one another for a moment and then emitted a whoop and jumped off the porch simultaneously running up the hillside like two children. When they reached the tree where the hound was telling the world he had a raccoon, he barely noticed their arrival. The Oak tree was not tall and most of the limbs were on one side of the tree. Tonto bellied up the tree and got above the large boar coon and shook him out. When the raccoon hit the ground the hound was waiting and ready. The coon carried the fight to the hound, the hound backed away parrying to the left to right. The coon turned to make his get away, the hound lunged forward biting the raccoon behind the neck and with one powerful shake the big coon was dead. The hound sniffed and rooted the coon around for a minute, then hiked his leg and urinated on him. He stood wagging his tail at the two men who stood open mouthed with disbelief at what they had just witnessed. They had each wanted to do the same thing to a fallen adversary; but being men, they could not. The dog had just made two friends. The men walked down the hill in the gathering darkness thinking about what they had just seen and the hound followed along behind. The next morning the two men did not mention the hound but each were eager to see if the dog was still there. They opened the door of their ranch house and there was the hound sitting on his haunches waiting for them. They fed him beans left from their supper the night before and spent the bigger part of the morning trying to settle on a name for their new friend.They named him Pissee Pedro.
The two men and the big ridgeback embarked on a mission (seemingly set by the dog) to wipe out every ringtail alive and in doing so built a reputation that preceded them wherever they traveled. Each raccoon killed suffered the same ritual as the first. They were killed and promptly urinated upon.
Meanwhile back at the club house, Patti is telling Reba, ”When Glenn dies he wants to be buried naked. I told him……blah…blah.” Reba said, “Ricky and I are going to be cremated and our ashes are going to be spread onto the surface of Caddo Lake. Ricky wants his placed in a ……blah….blah…blah”
Pedro and coonhunting became the main focus of the Lone Ranger and Tonto’s life. They traveled long distances and were met by large crowds of people everywhere wanting to see the famous trio. Pedro became the target of every hunter who had a hound they considered good enough to compete with him. Such a man was Wishfeld who hunted dogs for a breeder in Oklahoma. He was notorious for winning on the competition hunting circuit even if he had to use unethical tactics. One evening in East Texas, Tonto was handling Pedro in a competition hunt at a popular coon club there. As luck sometimes dictates he drew out in a cast against Wishfeld. Coons were being pressured badly by coyotes in this area and coon hunting was poor. Pedro strikes first one hour and thirty three minutes into the 2 hr. hunt and Tonto got the first strike points. Twenty minutes later in the hunt three dogs have struck and are working a hot track in shallow water. Pedro goes into deep water swimming through the cypress knees and treed in a Cypress tree on a knoll in the water. The other hounds continue to run about opening now and then in the shallow water.
Meanwhile back at the club house Glenn is lamenting to someone about how it has been 20 years since he has seen a road runner and ten years since he has seen a sparrow hawk; things of this nature bother him and he is forever watchful for changes of any kind and …blah…blah…blah.
The hunters wait the allotted 5 minutes and walk in to score the tree. Tonto now supposedly has 1st tree points. Wishfeld is noticeably upset, the hunt is almost over and all he has are strike points. The hunters shine the tree and Tonto and Lone Ranger see the coon balled around a limb in the top of the tree. They continue to shine the coon and ask the Judge, “Do you see him?” Wishfeld, with a blank look on his face speaking in a low monotone said, “I don’t see a coon.” The other hunters just stood with heads down.
Meanwhile back at the club house, Bubba had just come in, he said. “Is there any more tea? I am so tired. They are walking me to death. I feel as if I have been rode hard and put to bed wet!” 
Tonto is exasperated and looks at the Lone Ranger and said, “U-M-M Kemo Sahbee, this man has eye problem, needs help.” The Ranger nods but says nothing. Tonto turned back toward the tree and distorted his face and grimaced his mouth and the most awful sound that you have ever heard came forth. (Indians can do stuff like this)
Meanwhile back at the club house Kyle has arrived with a cast and he is telling the MOH,” If you want to eat a coon, for it to be good, you must throw it on top of the house and let the frost fall on it.”
After Tonto’s ear piercing squall, the coon jumped from the top of the Cypress tree. He spread his legs like a flying squirrel and sailed through the air and landed at Wishfeld’s feet. There he was hit by four hounds; Wishfeld was knocked down and a fierce fight erupted around him. When the fight was over the coon was dead and Wishfeld lay beside it with his hands and arms wrapped around his head protecting his face.
Meanwhile back at the clubhouse Glenn is asking Ricky and Bubba what a mini skirt and fence have in common. They didn’t know. He tells them; “They both protect the property; but don’t spoil the view!” Pam walks by looking very somber and said, “Am I the only one who cares the ladies commode is fouled up again?”
Pedro is busy taking care of his ritual and accidentally urinated on Wishfeld also. I love happy endings, don’t you?
Hi-Yo Silver! The Lone Ranger rides again!
Meanwhile back at the clubhouse, Ronnie asked Greg Feimster,”Who was that masked Man?” Greg reiterated the fact, “That was the Lone Ranger and his sidekick Tonto with their famous dog Pissee Pedro. He is out of ….blah….blah….blah. They are straight shooters.”
